A Topic that Taxes my Brain

Maybe I’ve finally figured it (or at least some of “it”) out: Hit people where they live.

My newer bestest comedy bit is about taxes. The heart of the joke is the people that spend the taxes, (I mean those in elected office and those put in places by those in elected office).

Not just the leadership du jour, but let’s just keep it simple, and stick to taxes. I don’t want to quibble and I’d hate to get in trouble with any of those who spend our money.

I know it doesn’t matter the month I tell it in, because everyone (other than the spenders) is sensitive about taxes. Okay, I like being clear so I mean everyone is sensitive about paying taxes… (Okay, I mean most everyone. I heard a famous person say that he loved paying a lot of taxes ‘cause that meant he made a lot of money  and I buy that argument, but he could make a lot of money and just give it to the parts of the US or people, that he wants to have it).

Anyhow I digress—a clear and present danger of me being near a typewriter.

Back to sensitive about paying taxes. By that, to be clear, to not obfuscate the idea by using words like obfuscate, I mean I think we all are open to paying for the things we need: streets, sidewalks, bridges, and also paying for those things that we hope we don’t need, army, fire, police, even the things we don’t want to think we need (NSA, CIA, Bombers?, long walks on the beach to recover from difficult decisions etc.) Paying for all of these is often is a frustration to many and sensitivity leads to a diversity of opinion as to what and how much of it (i.e. taxes) should go to whom.

Usually the party in power (and when you’re in power it feels like it should be a party) wants to spend the money (I say “the money” but I mean our money) the way they think best—a tough job probably, but a lot tougher when you’re the “party” not in power (should be called something else, ‘cause it seems like that’s not a party…)

I try to do the math sometimes when we pay billions for this and billions for that, and oh yeah here’s a few “lowly” millions for this, that, and the other…how do you get on that list?)

Anyways, I write the jokes about an easy taxation system, and just hope that someday things are easier to figure (oh, and how nice it income made it so much easier to pay) than they are now. (I’m doin’ fine, no tears, or donations needed.)

If things were easier, I wouldn’t have to keep such strict records… everything on a spreadsheet that is down just about to the penny, and then my tax preparer wouldn’t chastise me that my Excel spreadsheet looks like a Sudoko puzzle…

Bottom line, I want simpler tax code just to avoid looking silly to someone I pay to make sure I pay less… I don’t mind looking silly, to be honest, I just want to pay to look silly… then paying taxes would be a party I’d like to be invite to.

Catch the “Bruner Tax Plan” at a show near you…