Ever been humiliated by the DUMMIES books? I have…
Had a program for the computer I wanted to understand… so I bought one of those “helping” books put out by those “Just for Dummies” folks… Sounds good… but the trouble is: the book I bought, kinda confused me more… I was reading through it, still didn’t understand everything that was goin’ on… SO… I had to go BACK to the store, ‘n ask: “Do you have books for ‘Remedial Dummies?’ ‘Cause this first one I bought was a bit… advanced… Maybe you have somethin’ for ‘Imbeciles…’ or perhaps even a ‘Sub-Moron’ section? ‘Cause I need more help than this’s giving me…”
‘N it turns out that they do have and alternative: “Just for Idiots…” Whew.
So I bought that… Didn’t get much more information about what I was hopin’ to learn, and had to go BACK to the store… At this point, they were so nice… I told ‘em I was worse than a ‘Dummy,’ worse than an ‘Idiot’ and I don’t think they wanted me to chance a third strike, so they took kind pity on me… they realized I was embarrassed and that I FELT pretty STUPID… SO they ended up sendin’ me over to the books on ‘Self-Esteem.’
I don’t know how the economy isn’t doing well with all these books and such… You buy a computer and then buy a software program (To supposedly make life EASIER!!!), but it’s hard to learn, so you buy a book (insert ______ for Dummies here) to help explain the hard program, if you don’t understand the book, you might get another book (insert ______ for Idiots here), or at the very least buy a lot of alcohol to drown your low opinion of yourself…
Seems to me, with all that commerce goin’ on, I don’t mean to brag, but my stupidity has practically, single handedly, helped the national debt… Somebody in the government is sayin’ somewhere, “thank God that Bruner kid is as ignorant as an ice-cube, he’s raising the GNP all by himself…”
Who knew my lack of knowledge would be it’s own stimulus program.
Knee Note (kinda like a “foot note” only a bit higher…, it’d be a “Side note” if I had room in the margins…)
Here’s the title of the Oxymoron book I wanna see: “Self Esteem for Dummies…”
FOR THOSE Interested this is the why and how I wrote the above… a little behind the curtain info. I might erase later but thought I’d include NOW… from my writing diary… “Here are the ideas that were the genesis of the above… I tried (see “Y92 Xmas” show) jokes and thoughts in their infancy but never was able to develop the routine to the point I wanted it to be. (To the point I got laughs…) My blog gives me a bit of a better place, and maybe it’ll someday be a “Bruner Minute” video (An idea I have to tape 1 minute a week, filmed at my house or where-ever and then put up on my channel/website… just me delivering the piece to no-one…)
Also, (and this played no small part in stopping my development) an associate of mine, very funny comic: Don Friesen has a solid routine that includes a similar theme to this and it is an integral part of his material. He mined it… Besides, I want to be more like an inventor, or unique “perspectivist,” so I’ll finish with this and remove it from my brain-plate, but at least do something with it, SINCE I think my version’s funny… and think that MY ideas with it are also funny…
DUMB: They have books for dumb people, (for) my people… (For) me…
We’ve got books for dumb people… I’ve been humiliated by a Dummies book… read it ‘n still didn’t know what I was doing…
Anyone humiliated by the Dummies Books? Buy one read it, and still didn’t understand what’s goin’ on… (ended up havin’) had to go back to the (book) store and buy a book on self esteem… Apparently they don’t have a (where’s the) Sub moron section…
Computers make me feel dumb… The books we read to understand computers made me feel even dumber…
If I don’t understand the Dummy book, Imbecils, when do I get a book on self esteem…program (to help… sure didn’t help my ego…) (‘cause) and I didn’t get it, (and then) so I bought a book for dummies on how to use the program and I didn’t get that, so I had Idiot/imbecile, Behind the desk: “we have nothing (left) for you… (here) And I felt good… ‘cause I understood that…
*** (Not sure about a lot of stuff…) Computers’re supposed to make our lives easier, not always…
Anybody get a computer program they don’t understand?
Had to buy a book, didn’t understand the book (either…) (had to return the book for dummies…) had to buy another book and get one for idiots… Didn’t understand that one either. I had (you have) to return that and get a book on self esteem…
I know I’m not alone, some of my friends’re confused… “Where’s the chapter sayin’: How to turn the computer on???”
Creates a whole economy waterfall, (cascade, avalanche) can’t just buy the program… gotta buy the book, and if you don’t understand that one, then (you gotta buy) another book… for dummer people.
My stupidity single handedly is raising the Gross National Product.
Dumbness will help solve the economic crises, recession…
Thank God that Bruner kid’s as dumb as a rock… Raising the Gross National Product by himself…
My stupidity is it’s own Stimulus package…
LINE: Oxymoron title: Self Esteem for Idiots… “